(no subject)

ultimately, i miss friends and being loved and sharing nice little moments together and music meaning everything and still being able to feel good in those little moments

 depression has been part of my whole life, i don't want it to be my whole life. i used to be able to find the good spots too still.

nothing nothing nothing now.
am i nihilist now?

(no subject)

What do you do when people keep letting you down in the same ways?

I feel like I keep letting myself down in the same ways for always accepting way too little from everyone else.

I miss happiness, feeling sure of ANYTHING, any-fucking-thing, loving anything freely and deeply.

I am frustrated as fuck with work. Why/how can I throw myself into this when they can't even fucking stick to deadlines they make for themselves?


Also, why can't I just make Tegan and Sara my bffs/wives? =p 

(no subject)

I was just reading some comments on cnn.com in response to an article on the 'Occupy Wall Street' movement and it really pissed me off.

People spouting off the same crap they are fed just because they don't want to question things, take responsibility, or admit that their precious U.S. government isn't looking out for them half as much as they are looking out for their own interests.

It is not just hippies, the jobless, or as most people seem, to think 'entitled, lazy youth' participating or supporting the movement. Police officers, airline pilots, and people from all walks of life are trying to make a statement and people act like they are worthless for it. 

Everyone wants to blame Obama alone for problems that started long before he was in office, everyone wants to blame unemployment on the poor instead of asking where all our jobs went to.

I guess nothing bad is happening in the world if you don't admit it.

(no subject)

 Click this to read a review Dave and I did of Screaming Urge. I took the pics as usual. =]
This band has been around since the 70s and touring, unfortunately never got onto a label because of bullshit management problems but that didn't stop them from playing with the Ramones, Blondie, and all your other punk rock favorites you probably never got to see if you are near my age.

The show was awesome, the music was great, it made me forget about hipster bullshit and dance with my hair in my eyes. I love music that I actually feel in my soul, because not much does that for me anymore.

I hope we can get our blog going full swing (we had a hiatus for too long after we first started it because of Dave's health)!


new blogs

We were able to rent that little house I mentioned before!
First time we have lived together and not had roommates.. awesome!

My hubby started a blog.. he wants to be a writer... but hardly writes, so I'm trying to be encouraging. Check it out. He's opinionated, but funny and pretty good at holding yr attention!


We also started a punk rock blog to review shows, got one up so far, and got on the guest list (!!!!!!!) for this Sunday so we can review the Southern Culture on the Skids show in Cleveland. He writes 'em and I photograph 'em.


Follow 'em! or at least check them out =]

(no subject)

AH! I hate getting my hopes up but I am doing it anyway.

Just called a single family home, they said if I can put $1,500 down today or tomorrow, it's ours if we like it, no credit check, no income verification, no questions asked!

Feels like this might be fate.

Pray, cross your fingers, hope!

(no subject)

ugh. i want to cry and scream and cuss.

so sick of repeating patterns of bullshit.

i knew things were bad when i literally felt my body tense just because someone spoke to me. apparently, i need to prepare for words like swinging fists.

i feel weak and disappointed.